When Good Dogs Turn Bad

Poodles in black leather jackets
With chain wallets
Smoking cigarettes
Fouling the lawns and laughing
Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip
It makes me mad
When good dogs turn bad

Great Danes, pounding down martinis, wearing tweed
Pompously peppering their conversations with obscure
Quotations from Kierkegaard and Sartre
Leaping over fences and disturbing
The flowerbeds
It makes me mad
When good dogs turn bad

Dalmatians with playboy lifestyles
Yachts, sunglasses, the Riviera
Pissing on the tires of every Rolls Royce
In front of the Ritz
Drinking from the toilet bowls
It makes me mad
When good dogs turn bad

Undercover dachshunds
With their little spy cameras
Wiretapping for the CIA
Running a network of operatives behind enemy lines
Chewing holes in the Sunday paper
It makes me mad
When good dogs turn bad

It’s hard time at the pound
Howling, barking, begging, and drooling
So sad
But it’s the only way to teach them a lesson
When good dogs
Good dogs
Good dogs
Turn bad

Alistair McHarg

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